Ok, folks- I have decided to move my blog to another host site. Sorry to be a pain in the ass, but I'm really excited to be able to change the privacy settings on certain posts vs the entire blog.
So, copy the below....then paste it in your browser..and then save as a favorite. =)
http://hottingerhouse.wordpress.com/
I won't be posting on this site anymore, so make sure and do the switch-over!
May 10, 2012
May 2, 2012
Miss me?
Back to life....back to reality....back to life.....back to reality (a little Soul II Soul, anyone)?
We got back from the beach late Sunday night, and this week has been HELL trying to readjust and get back into the swing of things! Work has been kicking my ass trying to catch-up, and my house needs some serious attention. I don't even have groceries to speak of....guess I'll be going to good-ole' Wally World tonight!
Our vacation was AMAZING! The beach house was perfect...the peeps we went with were ideal...the weather was a little chilly the first two days, but then ended up being perfect...it was a great trip. My work, of course, tried to keep me busy all week (I worked some Mon/Tuesday, then ignored the calls and emails), but all in all I was able to relax and enjoy everything. =)
I have a lot more details to share, but work is taking up all of my time today. Plus, I have a lot to share that I don't necessarily want to share with the entire world...trying to decide what to do with that. I like sharing some of the baby-making details, just because I know it helps some of the other people in cyberspace going through the same thing, but at the same time I don't really want the whole world knowing when I am one month preggers, ya know? I also tend to be a little vulgar at times, and that might not be super appropriate for whatever audience is reading this. Then there are the cyber-stalkers...people who don't even like me who read my blog and have issues with things I say. It's kinda ridiculous. Anyway, I'm thinking about either moving to a new blog-host site (one that allows certain posts to be 'private' so that you have to enter a password to read it....and I'd share the password with people I know/like) or just making my blog private. I haven't decided which, but I'm thinking about it.
I'll try to post again this week when things calm down...
XOXO
We got back from the beach late Sunday night, and this week has been HELL trying to readjust and get back into the swing of things! Work has been kicking my ass trying to catch-up, and my house needs some serious attention. I don't even have groceries to speak of....guess I'll be going to good-ole' Wally World tonight!
Our vacation was AMAZING! The beach house was perfect...the peeps we went with were ideal...the weather was a little chilly the first two days, but then ended up being perfect...it was a great trip. My work, of course, tried to keep me busy all week (I worked some Mon/Tuesday, then ignored the calls and emails), but all in all I was able to relax and enjoy everything. =)
I have a lot more details to share, but work is taking up all of my time today. Plus, I have a lot to share that I don't necessarily want to share with the entire world...trying to decide what to do with that. I like sharing some of the baby-making details, just because I know it helps some of the other people in cyberspace going through the same thing, but at the same time I don't really want the whole world knowing when I am one month preggers, ya know? I also tend to be a little vulgar at times, and that might not be super appropriate for whatever audience is reading this. Then there are the cyber-stalkers...people who don't even like me who read my blog and have issues with things I say. It's kinda ridiculous. Anyway, I'm thinking about either moving to a new blog-host site (one that allows certain posts to be 'private' so that you have to enter a password to read it....and I'd share the password with people I know/like) or just making my blog private. I haven't decided which, but I'm thinking about it.
I'll try to post again this week when things calm down...
XOXO
April 20, 2012
Beach Bound, Baby!
This is where I'm heading tomorrow for a much needed vacation with the hubs and our best friends...I CAN'T WAIT
Good news on the baby front is that I will be ovulating at the beach! WHOO HOO!!! Prayers this week, please. =)
Good news on the baby front is that I will be ovulating at the beach! WHOO HOO!!! Prayers this week, please. =)
J is for Jams
Oh hot damn...this is my jam
Keep me partyin' to the A.M.
Y'all don't understand
Make me throw my hands in the
ayer, ay, ayer, ayer, ay ayer.
Sorry, I thought the word' jam' and that song popped into my head. =)
One of my top three 'loves' in life is music. I love how it can change a mood...take you back to a certain person or place or time in your life the minute you hear it (or even think it). I love how it makes me dance. I love hearing people sing, even if they aren't that good. I REALLY love hearing little kids sing...it's precious. I.Love.Music.
Some major music moments in my life:
1. I grew up listening to oldies music with my dad. It's really all I was allowed to listen to, so I loved it. A few I think
specifically- Hit the Road,Jack/Bye-Bye Love/The Lion Sleeps Tonight/Runaway/Stay Just a Little Bit Longer/Come and Go w/ Me
2. The first time I remember REALLY getting into music was in the 9th grade. It all started with Green Day and Weezer
3. When I was a senior in HS and into college I really started developing an eclectic music collection. I found myself really like
some heavier music (such as System of a Down/SevenDust/Tool), but I also found myself very drawn to jam bands, such as Phish,
The Grateful Dead, Widespread Panic, etc.
4. At some point I developed a love of rap music as well. Not all rap music..mainly Dre and Snoop. I heart them.
Nowadays I listen to everything and anything, honestly. Just for fun, here are a few of the bands I've seen live (I can't remember them all, so we'll just list what comes to mind): Phish, Dave Matthews, Foo Fighters, Weezer, Tenacious D, Janes Addiction, Tool, Guster, Fiona Apple, WallFlowers, Snoop Dogg, 311, Santigold, Cake, Modest Mouse, Afroman, Blues Traveler, Ben Harper, Young the Giant, GroupLove, Band of Horses, Depeche Mode, System of a Down, Incubus, Widespread Panic, Violent Flemmes, Alvin Youngblood Hart, Ben Folds Five, Cold War Kids, The Flaming Lips, G Love, Gorillaz, Pavement, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Train, The Black Crows...that's all I can think of right now. It's a lot to me, probably not to a lot of people, but to me. And a few of those I've seen several times because I'm obsessed. =)
So yes, J is for Jams....
Keep me partyin' to the A.M.
Y'all don't understand
Make me throw my hands in the
ayer, ay, ayer, ayer, ay ayer.
Sorry, I thought the word' jam' and that song popped into my head. =)
One of my top three 'loves' in life is music. I love how it can change a mood...take you back to a certain person or place or time in your life the minute you hear it (or even think it). I love how it makes me dance. I love hearing people sing, even if they aren't that good. I REALLY love hearing little kids sing...it's precious. I.Love.Music.
Some major music moments in my life:
1. I grew up listening to oldies music with my dad. It's really all I was allowed to listen to, so I loved it. A few I think
specifically- Hit the Road,Jack/Bye-Bye Love/The Lion Sleeps Tonight/Runaway/Stay Just a Little Bit Longer/Come and Go w/ Me
2. The first time I remember REALLY getting into music was in the 9th grade. It all started with Green Day and Weezer
3. When I was a senior in HS and into college I really started developing an eclectic music collection. I found myself really like
some heavier music (such as System of a Down/SevenDust/Tool), but I also found myself very drawn to jam bands, such as Phish,
The Grateful Dead, Widespread Panic, etc.
4. At some point I developed a love of rap music as well. Not all rap music..mainly Dre and Snoop. I heart them.
Nowadays I listen to everything and anything, honestly. Just for fun, here are a few of the bands I've seen live (I can't remember them all, so we'll just list what comes to mind): Phish, Dave Matthews, Foo Fighters, Weezer, Tenacious D, Janes Addiction, Tool, Guster, Fiona Apple, WallFlowers, Snoop Dogg, 311, Santigold, Cake, Modest Mouse, Afroman, Blues Traveler, Ben Harper, Young the Giant, GroupLove, Band of Horses, Depeche Mode, System of a Down, Incubus, Widespread Panic, Violent Flemmes, Alvin Youngblood Hart, Ben Folds Five, Cold War Kids, The Flaming Lips, G Love, Gorillaz, Pavement, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Train, The Black Crows...that's all I can think of right now. It's a lot to me, probably not to a lot of people, but to me. And a few of those I've seen several times because I'm obsessed. =)
So yes, J is for Jams....
April 11, 2012
I is for Infertility
Wikipedia says that infertility is the inability to conceive. Most couples are not coined as going through infertility until they have gone at least a year of unprotected sex without getting pregnant. Chris and I fall into this bucket..and I hate the term.
I'm still in the camp that says I can and will get pregnant this year. I'm still thinking positively in that there are no hidden, major issues and that the clomid/ progesterone and metformin are going to do what they do and I'll be knocked up before you know it. I'm still feeling excited each time I start my period, knowing the steps I will take for the next several weeks to see if we can bake a baby.
I'll admit, though, I'm fading fast. We are getting to the point that there are not many 'next steps' besides IUI and IVF. I am getting into month three of clomid, which means I can't take it for much longer before having to stop it and perhaps go on another medication. I am feeling that all the work we've put in over the past several months (tests/medications/constant 'trying') has led us to where we are today....and I feel it peaking and am afraid of what is on the other side if it's not pregnancy.
So yes...I'm staying positive in this moment, but two months down the road could be a completely different story. We shall see...
Keep us in your prayers, please. I REALLY have lots of hope for the month of April. =)
I'm still in the camp that says I can and will get pregnant this year. I'm still thinking positively in that there are no hidden, major issues and that the clomid/ progesterone and metformin are going to do what they do and I'll be knocked up before you know it. I'm still feeling excited each time I start my period, knowing the steps I will take for the next several weeks to see if we can bake a baby.
I'll admit, though, I'm fading fast. We are getting to the point that there are not many 'next steps' besides IUI and IVF. I am getting into month three of clomid, which means I can't take it for much longer before having to stop it and perhaps go on another medication. I am feeling that all the work we've put in over the past several months (tests/medications/constant 'trying') has led us to where we are today....and I feel it peaking and am afraid of what is on the other side if it's not pregnancy.
So yes...I'm staying positive in this moment, but two months down the road could be a completely different story. We shall see...
Keep us in your prayers, please. I REALLY have lots of hope for the month of April. =)
May your life...
I saw this today and am STILL laughing at it and how appropriate it is for some of the FB posts and blogs I have been reading! Nice.
April 8, 2012
H is for Halloween
The Hottingers just LOVE Halloween! I think I just love to laugh...and when you get a lot of adults together with costumes and booze, that is bound to happen. Here are a few things that Chris and I have gone as:
G is for G-Spot
What? Oh no she didn't.....
Yes, I'm a pervert. Worse than most people I know, actually. It's funny...I've been sitting here thinking of all of the words that start with G and how I could use them, such as G is for GREATS and listing out some of my favorite things....or G is for Gummy Bears, which I'm obsessed with (Haribo, specifically)....or G is for God, as it IS Easter Sunday and all...but all I keep coming back to is G is for G-Spot.
Girls talk about everything, including sex. Or at least me and my friends do. =) The conversations definitely change as you get older (and married), but the topic still comes up on a regular basis. Don't worry, husbands of ours...we are not comparing equipment or giving away trade secrets. It's more of a "oh really? 4 times this week? You are a good wife". Or maybe "You should try this...trust me". Most often, though, the talk is pertaining to orgasims.
I have learned that all women are SOOO different when it comes to hitting the big O. I have a few friends who have NEVER had an orgasm while having sex. I have several friends who have never had one during oral sex. I have a couple who get off every single time they have sex. I know some who NEVER 'go downtown,' and I know others who do at least a few times a month. It's all over the place!
Sometimes I wonder if guys know how lucky they are in several instances. Don't get me wrong, I would HATE to have a man's 'equipment' (especially during the heat of the summer lol), but I think it'd be pretty sweet to be able to pee standing up (without making a mess or looking like a total weirdo) and to know you are going to hit the big O every single time you have sex, without any foreplay or romance needed. Punks.
One thing I have found is that I am very lucky that Chris and I are on the same page as far as sex goes...that's so important for a couple! I know soooo many couples where the husband or wife complains that they just don't get it enough (yes, I know a couple wives who do the complaining, I promise). And I know a few where the girls are maybe a little more open to trying new things than the hubbys are. And I know oh so many who do not communicate at all regarding what works/doesn't work/etc. That just blows my mind! This is your SPOUSE, aka the one person in the world you are allowed to have sex with. If you want something done differently, you should speak up...it's a total win-win.
People get so embarrassed about this topic....that's weird to me. I don't get what there is to be embarrassed about. I mean seriously, our bodies do what they do and we might as well enjoy it. =)
Happy Easter!
Yes, I'm a pervert. Worse than most people I know, actually. It's funny...I've been sitting here thinking of all of the words that start with G and how I could use them, such as G is for GREATS and listing out some of my favorite things....or G is for Gummy Bears, which I'm obsessed with (Haribo, specifically)....or G is for God, as it IS Easter Sunday and all...but all I keep coming back to is G is for G-Spot.
Girls talk about everything, including sex. Or at least me and my friends do. =) The conversations definitely change as you get older (and married), but the topic still comes up on a regular basis. Don't worry, husbands of ours...we are not comparing equipment or giving away trade secrets. It's more of a "oh really? 4 times this week? You are a good wife". Or maybe "You should try this...trust me". Most often, though, the talk is pertaining to orgasims.
I have learned that all women are SOOO different when it comes to hitting the big O. I have a few friends who have NEVER had an orgasm while having sex. I have several friends who have never had one during oral sex. I have a couple who get off every single time they have sex. I know some who NEVER 'go downtown,' and I know others who do at least a few times a month. It's all over the place!
Sometimes I wonder if guys know how lucky they are in several instances. Don't get me wrong, I would HATE to have a man's 'equipment' (especially during the heat of the summer lol), but I think it'd be pretty sweet to be able to pee standing up (without making a mess or looking like a total weirdo) and to know you are going to hit the big O every single time you have sex, without any foreplay or romance needed. Punks.
One thing I have found is that I am very lucky that Chris and I are on the same page as far as sex goes...that's so important for a couple! I know soooo many couples where the husband or wife complains that they just don't get it enough (yes, I know a couple wives who do the complaining, I promise). And I know a few where the girls are maybe a little more open to trying new things than the hubbys are. And I know oh so many who do not communicate at all regarding what works/doesn't work/etc. That just blows my mind! This is your SPOUSE, aka the one person in the world you are allowed to have sex with. If you want something done differently, you should speak up...it's a total win-win.
People get so embarrassed about this topic....that's weird to me. I don't get what there is to be embarrassed about. I mean seriously, our bodies do what they do and we might as well enjoy it. =)
Happy Easter!
April 6, 2012
F is for...Freakin' Idiot!
Bobby Petrino is a freakin' idiot! My husband says he's a great coach and has done a lot for Razorback athletics (and I agree, although my knowledge base on this subject is very limited)....but I just wonder how someone who is suppose to be so smart can be so dumb.
I'm not saying he's an idiot because he was cheating on his wife. I don't believe it's morally right to sleep with anyone when you are married (even if you are separated..you are still married), but that's between him and those close to him. I don't want cheating in or surrounding MY life....but as long as it's not around me I don't really care. Petrino is our football coach, not our high priest. And people make mistakes.
That being said, what really rubs me the wrong way is the situation surrounding the girl he was caught with- Jessica Dorrell. From what I've read, she was riding around with him on his motorcycle less than a WEEK after she was hired to work directly for him (in a role that had previously only been filled by males). One could easily deduce that the inappropriate relationship between Dorrell and Petrino started prior to her being hired for that job. This opens up a whole can of worms for the AD to deal with. Was she hired because of this relationship? Were other people NOT hired because of this relationship (and thus will come forward with lawsuits)? Was she even qualified for this job? What a mess. And before anyone says "no proof that they were having an affair has been given," just realize that Petrino issued a statement last night...and if he was NOT having an affair with this chick, he sure as hell would have specified that due to all of the immediately speculation surrounding the police report.
So why is Petrino a freakin' idiot? Here are my top three reasons:
1. He started an affair with an engaged woman (the fiance also works on campus, btw) and then hired said woman to work directly for him
2. He then...knowing he is one of the most recongnizable men in the Fayetteville (or the whole state of AR, really)....decided to take a joy ride with said woman
3. He lied. People do this all the time, but when you are a public figure and you tell the cops one thing and the Razorback Nation another, you have to realize the truth is going to come out.
So yes, I am very disappointed in Petrino for just being dumb. I'm really torn on what will happen. On one hand, I want to say that there is no way that the U of A will let Petrino go due to his record and the promise of a great season...but on the other hand, the legality behind the hiring of Dorrell (and possible discrimination vs other applicants) is a big deal. I'm hoping that he doesn't get fired...but I'm afraid he will. Fingers crossed.
You know who I feel sorry for throughout this entire hot mess? Dorrell's fiance. Poor guy! He went from being a happily engaged guy, to seeing his fiance's picture with a scarlett A all over it put all over the internet and television. How heart breaking and embarrassing. I hope he told her to take a hike.
And here's the lovely couple themselves....
I'm not saying he's an idiot because he was cheating on his wife. I don't believe it's morally right to sleep with anyone when you are married (even if you are separated..you are still married), but that's between him and those close to him. I don't want cheating in or surrounding MY life....but as long as it's not around me I don't really care. Petrino is our football coach, not our high priest. And people make mistakes.
That being said, what really rubs me the wrong way is the situation surrounding the girl he was caught with- Jessica Dorrell. From what I've read, she was riding around with him on his motorcycle less than a WEEK after she was hired to work directly for him (in a role that had previously only been filled by males). One could easily deduce that the inappropriate relationship between Dorrell and Petrino started prior to her being hired for that job. This opens up a whole can of worms for the AD to deal with. Was she hired because of this relationship? Were other people NOT hired because of this relationship (and thus will come forward with lawsuits)? Was she even qualified for this job? What a mess. And before anyone says "no proof that they were having an affair has been given," just realize that Petrino issued a statement last night...and if he was NOT having an affair with this chick, he sure as hell would have specified that due to all of the immediately speculation surrounding the police report.
So why is Petrino a freakin' idiot? Here are my top three reasons:
1. He started an affair with an engaged woman (the fiance also works on campus, btw) and then hired said woman to work directly for him
2. He then...knowing he is one of the most recongnizable men in the Fayetteville (or the whole state of AR, really)....decided to take a joy ride with said woman
3. He lied. People do this all the time, but when you are a public figure and you tell the cops one thing and the Razorback Nation another, you have to realize the truth is going to come out.
So yes, I am very disappointed in Petrino for just being dumb. I'm really torn on what will happen. On one hand, I want to say that there is no way that the U of A will let Petrino go due to his record and the promise of a great season...but on the other hand, the legality behind the hiring of Dorrell (and possible discrimination vs other applicants) is a big deal. I'm hoping that he doesn't get fired...but I'm afraid he will. Fingers crossed.
You know who I feel sorry for throughout this entire hot mess? Dorrell's fiance. Poor guy! He went from being a happily engaged guy, to seeing his fiance's picture with a scarlett A all over it put all over the internet and television. How heart breaking and embarrassing. I hope he told her to take a hike.
And here's the lovely couple themselves....
E is for ...Eager Beaver
I know you are all eager to know how my doctor's appointment went this week (or at least three of you are...the ones who texted me...you know who you are). Let's just say it wasn't surprising. Got a BFN (Big Fat Negative) on the pregnancy test again this month. I knew that was possible with my traveling and the close timing, but since it was my first month on the progesterone I was very hopeful. That's what I get for getting my hopes up I suppose. Dang it.
So what am I going to do next? I'm going to hold off on the IUI this month. The main reason is that Chris and I (and several of my closest friends) are going to the beach this month....and based off of when I think I'll start and thus when I think I'll ovulate, I'm pretty sure we'll be at the beach during 'Prime Time,' so to speak. This could be PERFECT, actually! Chris and I got engaged on the beach....I NEVER take a full week off of work, so I'll be totally relaxed....and honestly I'm happiest when I'm on vacation and surrounded by friends. So...I have high hopes for the month of April. That being said, if I don't 'start' until mid-April for some reason and thus will not ovulate until end of April or early May, we will probably go ahead and do the IUI. It's all about the timing.
So yeah, that's what's up with that. Just call me an eager beaver. Haaa ha ha ha...get it? Eager Beaver? LOL. Enjoy your weekend!
So what am I going to do next? I'm going to hold off on the IUI this month. The main reason is that Chris and I (and several of my closest friends) are going to the beach this month....and based off of when I think I'll start and thus when I think I'll ovulate, I'm pretty sure we'll be at the beach during 'Prime Time,' so to speak. This could be PERFECT, actually! Chris and I got engaged on the beach....I NEVER take a full week off of work, so I'll be totally relaxed....and honestly I'm happiest when I'm on vacation and surrounded by friends. So...I have high hopes for the month of April. That being said, if I don't 'start' until mid-April for some reason and thus will not ovulate until end of April or early May, we will probably go ahead and do the IUI. It's all about the timing.
So yeah, that's what's up with that. Just call me an eager beaver. Haaa ha ha ha...get it? Eager Beaver? LOL. Enjoy your weekend!
April 3, 2012
Good Judgement
I swear, fortune cookies seek me out sometimes. This one is just too appropriate for my life over the past few weeks! (BTW- I know it's turned weird...I can't get it to straighten out!)
D is for Diagnosis
Well, my Pawpa had some tests done last week and the results are in....Prostate Cancer.
I.HATE.CANCER.
Many people live a long time after a cancer diagnosis, I know, but my Pawpa is not in any sort of shape to be able to be very aggressive in treatment. He's already weak....he's already on probably 25 different medications....and he lives in a small town with crap doctors and facilities (trust me, I learned this when Grandma got cancer). On top of that, I don't think there is any way we can talk him into coming to AR and letting us take care of him and fight this...
I'm suppose to get more information today regarding how advanced it is and next steps.
Cancer sucks.
I.HATE.CANCER.
Many people live a long time after a cancer diagnosis, I know, but my Pawpa is not in any sort of shape to be able to be very aggressive in treatment. He's already weak....he's already on probably 25 different medications....and he lives in a small town with crap doctors and facilities (trust me, I learned this when Grandma got cancer). On top of that, I don't think there is any way we can talk him into coming to AR and letting us take care of him and fight this...
I'm suppose to get more information today regarding how advanced it is and next steps.
Cancer sucks.
March 30, 2012
Doc Appointment #572
I had my monthly follow-up with Dr. Pappas this morning, and it went well. Here's a recap of my last few weeks as far as baby-making goes:
- Day one of my cycle was March 10th. I only had some light spotting for one day, so I thought that was weird.
- I took 100mg of Clomid on day 3 - 7
- I was hoping to have a +OPT on day 10 since I had to travel for work, but that didn't happen. I ended up testing positive on Friday the 23rd (day 14)...and I was in Dallas (without Chris)!! I was so irritated. Anyway, I got home Sunday and Chris and I 'concentrated relations' for a few days in hopes of still catching this cycle. It'll be close. =(
- Three days after the +OPT I started the Progesterone suppository. It isn't as bad as I thought, thankfully
- Yesterday I went in and had blood work done to test my progesterone levels
This brings me to today and my meeting with the doc. I go in monthly to discuss what we are doing/where we are at/what days things are happening/next steps/etc...and this appointment was no different. After going through the last few week's details, we reviewed my blood work...and it was awesome. =) My progesterone level was a 10, which he said is excellent. Yay! Meds are doing their job! So, next steps:
- There is a chance we caught the timing this month and could be pregnant. I'll go in next Friday, April 6th for a test
- If I'm pregnant, YAY! I'll continue the progesterone for 12 weeks and go from there
- If I'm not pregnant, I will discontinue use of the progesterone so that my body will have a period and we'll start the cycle all over
Dr. P also asked me if I want to try IUI this next cycle if I'm not pregnant or if I want to give it one last 'natural' try. IUI stands for intrauterine insemination...which is pretty much where the doctor injects the sperm into my uterus so that it is all right there as soon as the egg is released. I'm leaning towards going ahead and going with the IUI....I just want to be as aggressive as possible. We shall see.
That's pretty much it! I'll continue on with the progesterone for the next week, then I'll test and go from there. Fingers crossed....
Have a great weekend! MUAH!
- Day one of my cycle was March 10th. I only had some light spotting for one day, so I thought that was weird.
- I took 100mg of Clomid on day 3 - 7
- I was hoping to have a +OPT on day 10 since I had to travel for work, but that didn't happen. I ended up testing positive on Friday the 23rd (day 14)...and I was in Dallas (without Chris)!! I was so irritated. Anyway, I got home Sunday and Chris and I 'concentrated relations' for a few days in hopes of still catching this cycle. It'll be close. =(
- Three days after the +OPT I started the Progesterone suppository. It isn't as bad as I thought, thankfully
- Yesterday I went in and had blood work done to test my progesterone levels
This brings me to today and my meeting with the doc. I go in monthly to discuss what we are doing/where we are at/what days things are happening/next steps/etc...and this appointment was no different. After going through the last few week's details, we reviewed my blood work...and it was awesome. =) My progesterone level was a 10, which he said is excellent. Yay! Meds are doing their job! So, next steps:
- There is a chance we caught the timing this month and could be pregnant. I'll go in next Friday, April 6th for a test
- If I'm pregnant, YAY! I'll continue the progesterone for 12 weeks and go from there
- If I'm not pregnant, I will discontinue use of the progesterone so that my body will have a period and we'll start the cycle all over
Dr. P also asked me if I want to try IUI this next cycle if I'm not pregnant or if I want to give it one last 'natural' try. IUI stands for intrauterine insemination...which is pretty much where the doctor injects the sperm into my uterus so that it is all right there as soon as the egg is released. I'm leaning towards going ahead and going with the IUI....I just want to be as aggressive as possible. We shall see.
That's pretty much it! I'll continue on with the progesterone for the next week, then I'll test and go from there. Fingers crossed....
Have a great weekend! MUAH!
March 28, 2012
I needed a break!
What song always makes you happy when you hear it? Gin and Juice, by the Gourds (not Phish, and many assume)
What, if anything, would you change about your blog? I wish I had the guts to go 'all in' with my thoughts and feelings and the reality of situations. I get close sometimes, but I'm not quite there
If you could only keep one thing in your wardrobe, what would it be? This is tough, oddly. I love clothes! Luckily I turned most of my old school and concert show shirts into a t-shirt quilt, so I don't have to worry about losing those. =) Ok...I'm going with my favorite green cardigan. Which I'm wearing right now, of course
Warm sunny beaches or snow covered mountains? I honestly love both...but the beaches always win out because the ocean is the coolest thing in the world to me. Chris and I (and 8 of our friends) are going to the beach in less than a month....I can't wait!
What is your favorite book? This is also hard, as I was an English major and am an avid reader still to this day. I average a book a week...often two. If I could only choose one, I guess I'd go with The Hunger Games. KIDDING!!! Tricked ya, didn't I? I do like that series a lot, but not my favorite. I can't pick one...anything Faulkner is good. Or Tom Robbins
What three words best describe your personality? Well, this one is easy to me- candid, funny and loyal
What is the first thing you'd splurge on if you won the lottery? Assuming I've already paid off anything and everything Chris and I currently own, I'd buy land...in multiple places. I'd buy land to build my dream home on...and I'd buy land to have to have as a getaway
Do you have an embarrassing song that you rock out to on you I-pod? Ha ha ha...yes...lots of them! Most embarrassing? Probably Will Smith's Wild Wild West
Do you have a hidden talent? Several, of course. But most importantly, I can move my big toe and middle toe separately from the rest of my toes. And a couple of other weird toe tricks.
If you could take a one month trip anywhere and money was not a consideration, where would you go? My instinct says to put Bali or Bora Bora...but I assume Chris will be with me, and since he's a ginger I wouldn't want to force him to be in the sun for 30 days straight. =) So...I'd probably plan a trip that included Ireland, Scotland and Spain...I can't pick just one
What is your favorite sport and why? My favorite sport to PLAY is volleyball, baby! I love love love it. My favorite sport to watch is college football. I don't love to watch any sports, but I do enjoy college football now..mainly because my hubby's love and obsession has been forced upon me for so long now that I just had to succumb to the sport
What, if anything, would you change about your blog? I wish I had the guts to go 'all in' with my thoughts and feelings and the reality of situations. I get close sometimes, but I'm not quite there
If you could only keep one thing in your wardrobe, what would it be? This is tough, oddly. I love clothes! Luckily I turned most of my old school and concert show shirts into a t-shirt quilt, so I don't have to worry about losing those. =) Ok...I'm going with my favorite green cardigan. Which I'm wearing right now, of course
Warm sunny beaches or snow covered mountains? I honestly love both...but the beaches always win out because the ocean is the coolest thing in the world to me. Chris and I (and 8 of our friends) are going to the beach in less than a month....I can't wait!
What is your favorite book? This is also hard, as I was an English major and am an avid reader still to this day. I average a book a week...often two. If I could only choose one, I guess I'd go with The Hunger Games. KIDDING!!! Tricked ya, didn't I? I do like that series a lot, but not my favorite. I can't pick one...anything Faulkner is good. Or Tom Robbins
What three words best describe your personality? Well, this one is easy to me- candid, funny and loyal
What is the first thing you'd splurge on if you won the lottery? Assuming I've already paid off anything and everything Chris and I currently own, I'd buy land...in multiple places. I'd buy land to build my dream home on...and I'd buy land to have to have as a getaway
Do you have an embarrassing song that you rock out to on you I-pod? Ha ha ha...yes...lots of them! Most embarrassing? Probably Will Smith's Wild Wild West
Do you have a hidden talent? Several, of course. But most importantly, I can move my big toe and middle toe separately from the rest of my toes. And a couple of other weird toe tricks.
If you could take a one month trip anywhere and money was not a consideration, where would you go? My instinct says to put Bali or Bora Bora...but I assume Chris will be with me, and since he's a ginger I wouldn't want to force him to be in the sun for 30 days straight. =) So...I'd probably plan a trip that included Ireland, Scotland and Spain...I can't pick just one
What is your favorite sport and why? My favorite sport to PLAY is volleyball, baby! I love love love it. My favorite sport to watch is college football. I don't love to watch any sports, but I do enjoy college football now..mainly because my hubby's love and obsession has been forced upon me for so long now that I just had to succumb to the sport
March 27, 2012
C is for Candid
In case anyone missed it, directly below my blog title is a warning:
WARNING: What you are about to view may be highly skewed to the left, brutally frank and possibly offensive. Read at your own risk.
Yes, I included that months ago to be a little funny...but also because it's so true. I am candid (hence the blog title). I am abrasive. I am honest. I say things that some people are afraid to say and others are afraid to hear. I just prefer to say it how it is...and you can love me or hate me for it, because I'm ok with that. I know it's a tough pill to swallow, because my dad does the same thing and there have been MANY days/times I didn't want to hear what he was saying....but....it's how I am.
This blog is an outlet for me, obviously, so sometimes my thoughts/feelings/opinions may differ from yours. Sometimes they may even seem irrational (hello, look at my med list) and/or just plain crazy! But...they are mine and writing about them helps me. No one is saying that my opinions/thoughts/feelings are always right or justified....who's are always right/justified? But they are mine...and since this blog is about my life, I'm sharing them.
So...if I offend you, I warned you. And if you think I'm wrong, I'm ok with that (just be aware that it ends up that I am right most of the time, just don't tell my husband lol).
In the spirit of being candid....until today, I had planned on C being for Cucumbers....they are totally my favorite vegetable!
WARNING: What you are about to view may be highly skewed to the left, brutally frank and possibly offensive. Read at your own risk.
Yes, I included that months ago to be a little funny...but also because it's so true. I am candid (hence the blog title). I am abrasive. I am honest. I say things that some people are afraid to say and others are afraid to hear. I just prefer to say it how it is...and you can love me or hate me for it, because I'm ok with that. I know it's a tough pill to swallow, because my dad does the same thing and there have been MANY days/times I didn't want to hear what he was saying....but....it's how I am.
This blog is an outlet for me, obviously, so sometimes my thoughts/feelings/opinions may differ from yours. Sometimes they may even seem irrational (hello, look at my med list) and/or just plain crazy! But...they are mine and writing about them helps me. No one is saying that my opinions/thoughts/feelings are always right or justified....who's are always right/justified? But they are mine...and since this blog is about my life, I'm sharing them.
So...if I offend you, I warned you. And if you think I'm wrong, I'm ok with that (just be aware that it ends up that I am right most of the time, just don't tell my husband lol).
In the spirit of being candid....until today, I had planned on C being for Cucumbers....they are totally my favorite vegetable!
B is for Bawling
When is the last time you cried? Can you remember? What is because you were sad? Mad? Happy? Did you just get something in your eyes? Maybe you cried because of how big of a douche Ben the Bachelor was, yet you wasted hours of your life watching him on tv? Or maybe you cried because you got your Iron Horse sandwich and they were all out of pickles. Who knows. Whatever it was......I'm with you.
I don't know what all is going on with my body right now, but one thing is for sure...I have never cried so much in my life! Don't worry...I'm not sitting here depressed out of my gourd and just bawling about it non-stop. I'm crying for anything and everything and I have little control over it. Here are some examples JUST IN THE PAST WEEK:
1. I'm working on a new item for a big customer, and today I got a call from a higher-up at my company changing the cost on the product (again), which not only puts me out of a specific retail I was trying to hit, but also puts me in a position to have to pass this information on to the buyer without a good explanation. Thank god I was on the phone, because as I was getting the information my face got bright red and tears just started flowing. I was pissed...and somehow that triggered the tears. So weird.
2. So last night I was laying in bed watching terrible television and loving it, and I started thinking about several of my close guy friends whom I love dearly. Lately I have had 2-3 of them on my mind a lot because of their current situations, so I guess that's what made me start thinking about them all. I have one who was LITERALLY left stranded in another state recently from a girl he was seeing...I have one who is such a lover that he gets taken advantage of but can't change it because that's just who he is...I have one who always finds nice companionship, but never gets someone on just the right page as himself.....and I have another who somehow always ends up with the crazy girls. These guys are not just guys I would recommend...they are my family and I think the world of them. So when I see them hurt....or sad...or lonely...I get really sad. Even if they seem ok, my mind goes to the 'what could be' for them and wishes they had what I have because they deserve it 100%. By the way...if any single, sane, good-hearted ladies are reading this and what set-up, let me know! I'll have to check you out first, of course, but you never know!
3. On Saturday I was out shopping with a friend...spending money and having a ball...when I went into this kid's store to look for some things for my BFF's 2 year old. I was in the back, picking up infant clothes and looking them over, when it just hit me so hard that I wanted to be out buying for MY child. I had to the tears under control REAL quick since I was out in public....
4. On Tuesday, I stopped by to visit with my Pawpa on my way to Tyler for work. He was doing pretty good...but that didn't stop me for crying for an hour after I left. I was all good until I started thinking about wanting him to move to AR so I could see him more and help care for him....then I thought of him aging....which led me to thinking of NeeNaw and her passing away....which led to just thinking of death in general...and blah blah blah. Sad drive to say the least!
5. On Monday before I left town, I was laying in bed watching more terrible tv, and Chris came to bed. It usually takes him about 1-2 minutes to smooth pass out once he's in bed...so before long, I was watching tv and listening to him snore. Sometimes I get annoyed and elbow him and shake my head and say "REALLY?" Other times I laugh because I'm shocked how quickly he can be talking to me and then be OUT. This night, maybe because I knew I wasn't going to see him for almost a week, I turned the tv off and just cuddled with him. My thoughts immediately went to how much I love him and how lucky I am....then to OMG what would I do without him and again..emotional snowball! I had to roll over to make sure I didn't wake him up from crying all over him!
So just call me McBawlinger from now on if you want, I understand! Hopefully this will stop at some point...it's annoying. Just be warned...if you make me mad...or sad..or embarrassed....or really happy....prepare to reach for the tissues!
I don't know what all is going on with my body right now, but one thing is for sure...I have never cried so much in my life! Don't worry...I'm not sitting here depressed out of my gourd and just bawling about it non-stop. I'm crying for anything and everything and I have little control over it. Here are some examples JUST IN THE PAST WEEK:
1. I'm working on a new item for a big customer, and today I got a call from a higher-up at my company changing the cost on the product (again), which not only puts me out of a specific retail I was trying to hit, but also puts me in a position to have to pass this information on to the buyer without a good explanation. Thank god I was on the phone, because as I was getting the information my face got bright red and tears just started flowing. I was pissed...and somehow that triggered the tears. So weird.
2. So last night I was laying in bed watching terrible television and loving it, and I started thinking about several of my close guy friends whom I love dearly. Lately I have had 2-3 of them on my mind a lot because of their current situations, so I guess that's what made me start thinking about them all. I have one who was LITERALLY left stranded in another state recently from a girl he was seeing...I have one who is such a lover that he gets taken advantage of but can't change it because that's just who he is...I have one who always finds nice companionship, but never gets someone on just the right page as himself.....and I have another who somehow always ends up with the crazy girls. These guys are not just guys I would recommend...they are my family and I think the world of them. So when I see them hurt....or sad...or lonely...I get really sad. Even if they seem ok, my mind goes to the 'what could be' for them and wishes they had what I have because they deserve it 100%. By the way...if any single, sane, good-hearted ladies are reading this and what set-up, let me know! I'll have to check you out first, of course, but you never know!
3. On Saturday I was out shopping with a friend...spending money and having a ball...when I went into this kid's store to look for some things for my BFF's 2 year old. I was in the back, picking up infant clothes and looking them over, when it just hit me so hard that I wanted to be out buying for MY child. I had to the tears under control REAL quick since I was out in public....
4. On Tuesday, I stopped by to visit with my Pawpa on my way to Tyler for work. He was doing pretty good...but that didn't stop me for crying for an hour after I left. I was all good until I started thinking about wanting him to move to AR so I could see him more and help care for him....then I thought of him aging....which led me to thinking of NeeNaw and her passing away....which led to just thinking of death in general...and blah blah blah. Sad drive to say the least!
5. On Monday before I left town, I was laying in bed watching more terrible tv, and Chris came to bed. It usually takes him about 1-2 minutes to smooth pass out once he's in bed...so before long, I was watching tv and listening to him snore. Sometimes I get annoyed and elbow him and shake my head and say "REALLY?" Other times I laugh because I'm shocked how quickly he can be talking to me and then be OUT. This night, maybe because I knew I wasn't going to see him for almost a week, I turned the tv off and just cuddled with him. My thoughts immediately went to how much I love him and how lucky I am....then to OMG what would I do without him and again..emotional snowball! I had to roll over to make sure I didn't wake him up from crying all over him!
So just call me McBawlinger from now on if you want, I understand! Hopefully this will stop at some point...it's annoying. Just be warned...if you make me mad...or sad..or embarrassed....or really happy....prepare to reach for the tissues!
March 15, 2012
A is for Anderson
So I have a few friends who blog who have done this whole alphabet game on their blogs- where you start with A and go through the alphabet, assigning a word to each letter and explaining why. Often during the week I find that I want to blog, but don't have time to REALLY get into anything.... so I think this will be fun. Plus, I'll have updates more often, which should be fun for you, too. =)
Obviously, A is for Anderson! I grew up as Jennifer Lynn Anderson, and when I got married I changed my name to Jennifer Anderson Hottinger. I just couldn't get rid of my maiden name! A few reasons I love it:
- I was always in the front of lines/called first or second/etc in school. I have never had much patience, so having a last name that started with A was helpful. ;)
- I played sports, so a lot of people actually called me Anderson on a regular basis. As a girl named Jennifer growing up in the 80s, it was kind of nice to be called a name that didn't have 5 other girls in the room responding!
- My grandpa Anderson was awesome...and the name always makes me think of him
- I had a group of friends at RHS who (unbeknowngst to me) decided to form a sort of 'fan club' for me for volleyball (I was pretty good, I admit). They made t-shirts and everything...and the front said ANDERSON 3:16. It was a play off of the wrestler Stone Cold Steve Austin (who had a catchphrase of Austin 3:16)....I guess because they thought I was a powerhouse? LOL. I thought it was hilarious...and awesome...until my coach saw the shirts at the game and gave me the whole "there is no I in team" speech. Anyway, I got two of these shirts eventually, and now I have one on my t-shirt quilt to remind me of the good ole' days (and I still wear the other one to bed). =)
So yes, I love the name Anderson. In fact, if we ever have a little boy...
Obviously, A is for Anderson! I grew up as Jennifer Lynn Anderson, and when I got married I changed my name to Jennifer Anderson Hottinger. I just couldn't get rid of my maiden name! A few reasons I love it:
- I was always in the front of lines/called first or second/etc in school. I have never had much patience, so having a last name that started with A was helpful. ;)
- I played sports, so a lot of people actually called me Anderson on a regular basis. As a girl named Jennifer growing up in the 80s, it was kind of nice to be called a name that didn't have 5 other girls in the room responding!
- My grandpa Anderson was awesome...and the name always makes me think of him
- I had a group of friends at RHS who (unbeknowngst to me) decided to form a sort of 'fan club' for me for volleyball (I was pretty good, I admit). They made t-shirts and everything...and the front said ANDERSON 3:16. It was a play off of the wrestler Stone Cold Steve Austin (who had a catchphrase of Austin 3:16)....I guess because they thought I was a powerhouse? LOL. I thought it was hilarious...and awesome...until my coach saw the shirts at the game and gave me the whole "there is no I in team" speech. Anyway, I got two of these shirts eventually, and now I have one on my t-shirt quilt to remind me of the good ole' days (and I still wear the other one to bed). =)
So yes, I love the name Anderson. In fact, if we ever have a little boy...
March 8, 2012
Thursday Throwdown
Things I am hating right now:
1. Ben, The Bachelor. He is so lame. I was so excited to watch this season, but it has been a complete snooze-fest!
2. The forecast for this weekend. My in-laws are going to be in town and I really wanted to walk them around downtown Bentonville...and it's suppose to rain all weekend. Blerg!
3. The sickness. Whatever this 'bug' is that has been going around- I started getting it on Saturday and was down for the count most of the week. Besides an AWFUL Sunday of moaning and tossing and turning and not eating, my energy has been zapped all week. And Chris got it too, which makes it all worse.
4. Paula, annoying chick on the Real World/Road Rules Challenges. No main reason to hate her, she just annoys me beyond belief. Every single time she comes on the screen to talk I start rolling my eyes. And yes, you may be rolling your eyes that I still watch these challenges...but I LOVE them!
5. Pregnant Teenagers. Sure, some of my disdain for them comes from jealousy and the fact that they are pregnant and I'm not...ok, most of my disdain.
6. The 2012 GOP Candidates. I am not usually a fan of most of the GOP candidates, but I also don't usually hate on them. This year is different...we are surrounded by sexist, racist, vile idiots! I am consistently shocked at the things I read in the news that come out of the mouths of these fools. It's appalling.
7. The fact that no matter how hard I try, I can never get tickets to go see Ellen! I have wanted to go see her for several years, but it's next to impossible to get tickets to her show. I wish they would just sell them and let me buy some! Seriously...I feel like the only way I'll ever get to see her is if we have a semi land on our house or something. She's incredible.
8. Taking Medicine. I am REALLY sick of taking meds! Depending on what time of the month it is, I take up to 12 pills in one day. It gets old.
9. Living in Bella Vista. I want to move!! Chris and I have been ready to move for a long time, but with the market as it is we are stuck for a while in the lovely town of Bella Vista. We have a nice home...we have great neighbors..it's not THAT bad. But, on the other side, Chris has to commute to Fayetteville 5 times a week....we don't get to see some of our great friends very often because we live so far away from Fayetteville...I'd like a bigger home for entertaining and possible kids rooms...blah blah blah. I don't even like to think about it because we don't have any options anytime soon, unfortunately.
10. Stress. I'm what many would call a 'natural stressor.' Is that even a thing? Ha! What I mean, is that I tend to stress about anything and everything and I have no control over it. I have a hard time 'turning off' my mind about work/life/etc....and the only thing I've found that really helps is mindless tv. Seriously, even when I watch shows I LOVE like The Walking Dead or Parenthood I find myself stressing or crying or whatever about their situations. Anyway, stress is not good for me or for a possible pregnancy...so it needs to go away. So now I stress about stressing. For real.
What do you hate?
1. Ben, The Bachelor. He is so lame. I was so excited to watch this season, but it has been a complete snooze-fest!
2. The forecast for this weekend. My in-laws are going to be in town and I really wanted to walk them around downtown Bentonville...and it's suppose to rain all weekend. Blerg!
3. The sickness. Whatever this 'bug' is that has been going around- I started getting it on Saturday and was down for the count most of the week. Besides an AWFUL Sunday of moaning and tossing and turning and not eating, my energy has been zapped all week. And Chris got it too, which makes it all worse.
4. Paula, annoying chick on the Real World/Road Rules Challenges. No main reason to hate her, she just annoys me beyond belief. Every single time she comes on the screen to talk I start rolling my eyes. And yes, you may be rolling your eyes that I still watch these challenges...but I LOVE them!
5. Pregnant Teenagers. Sure, some of my disdain for them comes from jealousy and the fact that they are pregnant and I'm not...ok, most of my disdain.
6. The 2012 GOP Candidates. I am not usually a fan of most of the GOP candidates, but I also don't usually hate on them. This year is different...we are surrounded by sexist, racist, vile idiots! I am consistently shocked at the things I read in the news that come out of the mouths of these fools. It's appalling.
7. The fact that no matter how hard I try, I can never get tickets to go see Ellen! I have wanted to go see her for several years, but it's next to impossible to get tickets to her show. I wish they would just sell them and let me buy some! Seriously...I feel like the only way I'll ever get to see her is if we have a semi land on our house or something. She's incredible.
8. Taking Medicine. I am REALLY sick of taking meds! Depending on what time of the month it is, I take up to 12 pills in one day. It gets old.
9. Living in Bella Vista. I want to move!! Chris and I have been ready to move for a long time, but with the market as it is we are stuck for a while in the lovely town of Bella Vista. We have a nice home...we have great neighbors..it's not THAT bad. But, on the other side, Chris has to commute to Fayetteville 5 times a week....we don't get to see some of our great friends very often because we live so far away from Fayetteville...I'd like a bigger home for entertaining and possible kids rooms...blah blah blah. I don't even like to think about it because we don't have any options anytime soon, unfortunately.
10. Stress. I'm what many would call a 'natural stressor.' Is that even a thing? Ha! What I mean, is that I tend to stress about anything and everything and I have no control over it. I have a hard time 'turning off' my mind about work/life/etc....and the only thing I've found that really helps is mindless tv. Seriously, even when I watch shows I LOVE like The Walking Dead or Parenthood I find myself stressing or crying or whatever about their situations. Anyway, stress is not good for me or for a possible pregnancy...so it needs to go away. So now I stress about stressing. For real.
What do you hate?
Fertility Update
To start with, please ignore this post if you don't want to hear about my lady business. =)
I went to the doctor last Friday hopeful that I could possibly be pregnant. You see, it had been over three full weeks since I ovulated, and generally women either start menstruation or get a positive pregnancy test within two weeks. At that point, I had done neither, so I figured there was some hope there, ya know? Home pregnancy tests are wrong all the time, right?
After peeing in the cup for the nurse and then reviewing my information with the doc, I started in on the questions- was I pregnant? If not, why hadn't I started my period? Is the clomid dosage enough? What are the next steps? I wasn't quite expecting the answers I got.
Ends up, my body isn't producing enough progesterone (or so the doc thinks at this point). Why is this important? Progesterone does a million different things for pregnancy, but one of the most important things it does is that it 'prepares' the uterus for a baby...and keeps it from contracting so that the fertilized egg can actually implant.
The good news is that Chris's swimmers and my eggs are actually hooking up and fertilizing and forming embryos. The bad news is that my uterus is rejecting them a couple of weeks down the process and forcing them to miscarry because of my progesterone levels. This is why I don't 'start' two weeks after I ovulate. Like now...I'm a month out and just waiting for this to happen so that I can start the next cycle of meds/etc.
The other good news is that the doctor has a plan for me (for this month at least- I am now seeing him every 4 weeks, so things will continue to change I'm sure). Next steps:
1. Whenever I finally 'start' again, I will be doubling my Clomid meds on day
3-7 of my cycle
2. I will 'concentrate relations' (as the doc says) as needed leading up to
Ovulation
3. 3 days after I test positive for Ovulation, I have to start taking a
Progesterone suppository. This is suppose to be a pill that I literally
have to stick up my lady parts every single night before I go to bed. I
will do this for 30 days and will then test for pregnancy. If pregnant, I
have to continue this process for at least the first 12 weeks. If not preg,
I stop the suppositories and that will allow a period to come
4. 7 days after I test positive for Ovulation I have to go do some more blood work to check my Progesterone levels and something else...can't remember
Confused yet? I was at first, but I think it has all sunk in now. I've had a few rough days where I've thought about the fact that I still haven't started...and how there is still this fertilized egg inside of me trying to find a comfy spot to land and grow...and it just bums me out because I know it won't find that spot and I just have to wait for it. I can't help but be bummed. I know the fact that the doc is figuring some things out is positive. I know starting new steps is positive. All this can only help.....but right now I'm sad. And that's ok.
I went to the doctor last Friday hopeful that I could possibly be pregnant. You see, it had been over three full weeks since I ovulated, and generally women either start menstruation or get a positive pregnancy test within two weeks. At that point, I had done neither, so I figured there was some hope there, ya know? Home pregnancy tests are wrong all the time, right?
After peeing in the cup for the nurse and then reviewing my information with the doc, I started in on the questions- was I pregnant? If not, why hadn't I started my period? Is the clomid dosage enough? What are the next steps? I wasn't quite expecting the answers I got.
Ends up, my body isn't producing enough progesterone (or so the doc thinks at this point). Why is this important? Progesterone does a million different things for pregnancy, but one of the most important things it does is that it 'prepares' the uterus for a baby...and keeps it from contracting so that the fertilized egg can actually implant.
The good news is that Chris's swimmers and my eggs are actually hooking up and fertilizing and forming embryos. The bad news is that my uterus is rejecting them a couple of weeks down the process and forcing them to miscarry because of my progesterone levels. This is why I don't 'start' two weeks after I ovulate. Like now...I'm a month out and just waiting for this to happen so that I can start the next cycle of meds/etc.
The other good news is that the doctor has a plan for me (for this month at least- I am now seeing him every 4 weeks, so things will continue to change I'm sure). Next steps:
1. Whenever I finally 'start' again, I will be doubling my Clomid meds on day
3-7 of my cycle
2. I will 'concentrate relations' (as the doc says) as needed leading up to
Ovulation
3. 3 days after I test positive for Ovulation, I have to start taking a
Progesterone suppository. This is suppose to be a pill that I literally
have to stick up my lady parts every single night before I go to bed. I
will do this for 30 days and will then test for pregnancy. If pregnant, I
have to continue this process for at least the first 12 weeks. If not preg,
I stop the suppositories and that will allow a period to come
4. 7 days after I test positive for Ovulation I have to go do some more blood work to check my Progesterone levels and something else...can't remember
Confused yet? I was at first, but I think it has all sunk in now. I've had a few rough days where I've thought about the fact that I still haven't started...and how there is still this fertilized egg inside of me trying to find a comfy spot to land and grow...and it just bums me out because I know it won't find that spot and I just have to wait for it. I can't help but be bummed. I know the fact that the doc is figuring some things out is positive. I know starting new steps is positive. All this can only help.....but right now I'm sad. And that's ok.
March 1, 2012
Tunes
Top five artists for this week (meaning I've been playing them non-stop at my desk, pretty much):
1. Regina Spektor
2. Santigold
3. Freelance Whales
4. Metric
5. Imogene Heap
1. Regina Spektor
2. Santigold
3. Freelance Whales
4. Metric
5. Imogene Heap
February 29, 2012
Seriously, America?
Sometimes I am just in shock that some of the GOP candidates have even a single follower, much less thousands. How is that more women are not raising hell with Rick Santorum? Have you heard/read about his feelings towards women, birth control, health care? What a douchebag! I fear that too many people are blindly following this man strictly due to his appeal to evangelicals. I can't believe this guy is giving ANY other candidate a run for his money. If you are my friend...and a woman...and are considering supporting this crackerjack, please let me know so that I can knock some sense into you.
February 28, 2012
In case you were wondering...
Yes, I took my old, worn-out Tano bags to the cobbler last month and had them redyed (both are now different colors than they were originally)- they look great!
And no, I'm not pregnant.
And no, I'm not pregnant.
February 27, 2012
Our First Tradition....Valentine's Day Cards
I do not come from a family with a lot of traditions. In fact, I can't think of a single thing that we did on an annual basis at all, which I find sad. I love traditions! I don't know why, but it makes me feel like I am a part of something bigger...and I really enjoy that.
For years now, I have been thinking of all of the traditions I am going to start with my kids once they finally decide to join us. I want to:
1. Buy new/cute pjs for the family and have them open them and wear them on
Christmas Eve
2. I want to volunteer, as a family, at least twice a year
3. Family vacations! Can you believe that I never went on a family vacation
with my parents and siblings? We did travel to AR about once a year to
visit our grandparents, but I don't count that
4. My friend does a very cool tradition with her son that started when he was
somewhere around one I think. They put him in a plain, white, button-down
collared shirt (Men's) and take his picture. Obviously the shirt is WAY big
on him....but they take the photo EVERY year and you can see how their son
has grown and changed and filled out just a little bit more of that shirt.
I'm not sure why, but I find this facinating and unique.
These are just a few things. Maybe most of you already do these things or something simliar, but I never have and am looking forward to it! The one thing that I do know for fact will happen very single year, is that I will receive a hand-crafted..thoughtful...adorable...loving Valentine's Day card from my husband.
There are many Valentine's Day haters, and that's just fine. The day isn't a big deal to me at all (considering my b-day is the day before, and I like to put the focus on that lol), but I do like the thought of setting aside some extra time that day/week to ensure that you show the people in your life that you love. You should show this all the time, yes, but there is nothing wrong with the extra attention. =) Chris and I don't do big gifts or anything (well, sometimes I have have been known to go a little overboard...but I love giving gifts!), but we do always do cards. I buy one for him (he doesn't care much for cards, honestly) and he always makes one for me.
The first card he ever made me was my favorite. We were not living in the same city, so he mailed me the first card below. On the outside it says "This card expresses how I feel without you." Then you open it, and the inside has a blue piece of construction paper torn up and glued all over it and it says "All torn up and blue." ARE YOU KIDDING ME? How could I NOT fall in love with this guy? So sweet. A few years later he did another version of this card...it was the same on the outside, but the inside had the blues pieces all fit together properly and it was "how he felt WITH me"- meaning full/whole/etc.
Chris gets creative, and often does a card that goes with the gift he has gotten me that year. On year, he tracked down the old porch swing that my grandfather had made that had been left at a house owned by strangers. He went to the house...offered to buy the swing and when they said no ended up going and buying a new one and going back and offering to switch theirs outs (all in the rain). That year, he gave me the below card.
The year after we got married and got our first pet together (Suka), I got the below card-
And one year I even got a pop-up card! AMAZING!
There are many more. Are you all impressed? I am. Daily. I am one lucky lady, that's for sure. I love you, Chris!
For years now, I have been thinking of all of the traditions I am going to start with my kids once they finally decide to join us. I want to:
1. Buy new/cute pjs for the family and have them open them and wear them on
Christmas Eve
2. I want to volunteer, as a family, at least twice a year
3. Family vacations! Can you believe that I never went on a family vacation
with my parents and siblings? We did travel to AR about once a year to
visit our grandparents, but I don't count that
4. My friend does a very cool tradition with her son that started when he was
somewhere around one I think. They put him in a plain, white, button-down
collared shirt (Men's) and take his picture. Obviously the shirt is WAY big
on him....but they take the photo EVERY year and you can see how their son
has grown and changed and filled out just a little bit more of that shirt.
I'm not sure why, but I find this facinating and unique.
These are just a few things. Maybe most of you already do these things or something simliar, but I never have and am looking forward to it! The one thing that I do know for fact will happen very single year, is that I will receive a hand-crafted..thoughtful...adorable...loving Valentine's Day card from my husband.
There are many Valentine's Day haters, and that's just fine. The day isn't a big deal to me at all (considering my b-day is the day before, and I like to put the focus on that lol), but I do like the thought of setting aside some extra time that day/week to ensure that you show the people in your life that you love. You should show this all the time, yes, but there is nothing wrong with the extra attention. =) Chris and I don't do big gifts or anything (well, sometimes I have have been known to go a little overboard...but I love giving gifts!), but we do always do cards. I buy one for him (he doesn't care much for cards, honestly) and he always makes one for me.
The first card he ever made me was my favorite. We were not living in the same city, so he mailed me the first card below. On the outside it says "This card expresses how I feel without you." Then you open it, and the inside has a blue piece of construction paper torn up and glued all over it and it says "All torn up and blue." ARE YOU KIDDING ME? How could I NOT fall in love with this guy? So sweet. A few years later he did another version of this card...it was the same on the outside, but the inside had the blues pieces all fit together properly and it was "how he felt WITH me"- meaning full/whole/etc.
Chris gets creative, and often does a card that goes with the gift he has gotten me that year. On year, he tracked down the old porch swing that my grandfather had made that had been left at a house owned by strangers. He went to the house...offered to buy the swing and when they said no ended up going and buying a new one and going back and offering to switch theirs outs (all in the rain). That year, he gave me the below card.
The year after we got married and got our first pet together (Suka), I got the below card-
And one year I even got a pop-up card! AMAZING!
There are many more. Are you all impressed? I am. Daily. I am one lucky lady, that's for sure. I love you, Chris!
February 13, 2012
Time with PawPa...
When we are young, very few of us take the time to really get to know our grandparents. Sure, we know their names....their kids....where they have lived for as long as we've been alive...etc, but we don't REALLY know who they are/were outside of being our grandparents. Or at least I didn't.
Sadly for me, my grandparents on my dad's side passed away when I was in high school. My grandpa (Jess Anderson) had Alzheimers and passed away when I was in the 10th grade. He was the hardest-working man I ever met! There were many weekends when I'd show up and he'd be chopping wood out back at 80 years old. He was incredible. He never had money to speak of, but every time I saw him he'd try to slip me a dollar or two. He was very sweet and loved me very much.
Grandma Anderson (Sophena Zuma Anderson) died from pancreatic cancer. She was an Avon lady for at least 20 years, and she was a great seamstress as well, luckily for me. Every Christmas I'd receive a bunch of random Avon products (such as roll-on deodorant, cheap jewelry, etc) and a quilt. When I was younger, I didn't look forward to these gifts at all....but now, I have 11 quilts in my house, keeping my loved ones warm...and I love it! For as nice as Grandpa Anderson was, Grandma Anderson was the opposite (to me).
It wasn't until a few years ago that I realized why my grandparents were like they were. First of all, they never had any money to speak of. They worked hard their entire lives...never went on vacations...never put kids through school, always working as hard as they could just to manage. Secondly, they had a little girl, Barbara, who died when she was 18 months old from pnemonia. She was their second-born, and from what my parents have told me it doesn't seem like Grandma every got over this. I can't imagine. Then...their first granddaughter died at 18months old from falling out of her high chair. After that, my Aunt Paulette (their only daughter) died at middle-age from MS. No parents should have to see their child die....and to lose 2 kids and a grandbaby so young?? So sad. I don't live life with many regrets, but I do regret not truly getting to know my dad's parents more than I did. I would have loved to have heard about them falling in love....about the war my Grandpa fought in...about my father as a little boy, or even a young adult...but I never had those conversations. If I'd known more about their lives, maybe I'd have been more understanding of Grandma's lack of emotion...who knows. I wish I could do that over again.
My mom's parents have lived in TX their entire lives. My grandma (Bernice Eloise Beers)..."NeeNaw" to us grandkids, died on my mom's birthday 2 years ago. She had cancer. My grandpa (James Colin Beers) is living in Bogota, TX, and is 83 years old. I didn't know either of them very well until 3 years ago, when I started my new job and realized that my corporate office is 1.5 hrs from their house in TX. I'm not kidding...the first time I drove to TX for work I literally drove by their house (which is so random, as their house is in the middle of nowhere!) on my way to work. Talk about a sign!
I stopped by their house the first time I drove by and surprised them. This was the first time I'd ever been their without my mom with me...the first time I'd really been there as an adult. I was acutely aware of how much they had aged since I'd seen them last. I stopped by their house every 2-3 weeks for several weeks before NeeNaw took a turn for the worse. She ended up coming to AR and staying with my parents for a while so that she could go through some surgeries and have a caretaker for recovery. Unfortunately, she never got to go home. I was there for her the whole time...and there for my mom. It was hard. Being in the room with her while we took her off of her machines was by far the hardest thing I've ever done. It was so sad and I still start bawling every time I think about it.
I try to see PawPa at least monthly, although the past few months have been crazy. He sooo looks forward to me coming to see him, and I look forward to just being around him. He can't get around much, so I generally show up and clean for a few hours, then spend the next day or so just visiting with him. I've made a point to ask him to tell me stories..such as the birth of my mom (and her siblings)...how he met Grandma....where he use to work....anything I can think of. And he gets so excited to tell me! I feel like...for the first time...I have a sense of who one of my grandparents is...and he's awesome!
Every time I leave Pawpa, I cry. I think of the missed opportunities I had with my dad's parents....and with NeeNaw. I think about how sad Pawpa is that the love of his life is gone. I think about how it must feel to be elderly and alone. I wonder if...when I'm 80...will my grandkids want to know who I am or who I use to be? Will my stories bore them? Will I even remember any of the details that I am constantly obsessing over in my current life? It's sad to think about. But on the upside...Pawpa sure did enjoy my visit this weekend!
This first picture is a family picture of my PawPa and NeeNaw and their kids. My mom is on the far left. The second picture is my PawPa and NeeNaw in their 70s, and the last picture is of them in their 20s. How good lookin' were they? WOW!
Sadly for me, my grandparents on my dad's side passed away when I was in high school. My grandpa (Jess Anderson) had Alzheimers and passed away when I was in the 10th grade. He was the hardest-working man I ever met! There were many weekends when I'd show up and he'd be chopping wood out back at 80 years old. He was incredible. He never had money to speak of, but every time I saw him he'd try to slip me a dollar or two. He was very sweet and loved me very much.
Grandma Anderson (Sophena Zuma Anderson) died from pancreatic cancer. She was an Avon lady for at least 20 years, and she was a great seamstress as well, luckily for me. Every Christmas I'd receive a bunch of random Avon products (such as roll-on deodorant, cheap jewelry, etc) and a quilt. When I was younger, I didn't look forward to these gifts at all....but now, I have 11 quilts in my house, keeping my loved ones warm...and I love it! For as nice as Grandpa Anderson was, Grandma Anderson was the opposite (to me).
It wasn't until a few years ago that I realized why my grandparents were like they were. First of all, they never had any money to speak of. They worked hard their entire lives...never went on vacations...never put kids through school, always working as hard as they could just to manage. Secondly, they had a little girl, Barbara, who died when she was 18 months old from pnemonia. She was their second-born, and from what my parents have told me it doesn't seem like Grandma every got over this. I can't imagine. Then...their first granddaughter died at 18months old from falling out of her high chair. After that, my Aunt Paulette (their only daughter) died at middle-age from MS. No parents should have to see their child die....and to lose 2 kids and a grandbaby so young?? So sad. I don't live life with many regrets, but I do regret not truly getting to know my dad's parents more than I did. I would have loved to have heard about them falling in love....about the war my Grandpa fought in...about my father as a little boy, or even a young adult...but I never had those conversations. If I'd known more about their lives, maybe I'd have been more understanding of Grandma's lack of emotion...who knows. I wish I could do that over again.
My mom's parents have lived in TX their entire lives. My grandma (Bernice Eloise Beers)..."NeeNaw" to us grandkids, died on my mom's birthday 2 years ago. She had cancer. My grandpa (James Colin Beers) is living in Bogota, TX, and is 83 years old. I didn't know either of them very well until 3 years ago, when I started my new job and realized that my corporate office is 1.5 hrs from their house in TX. I'm not kidding...the first time I drove to TX for work I literally drove by their house (which is so random, as their house is in the middle of nowhere!) on my way to work. Talk about a sign!
I stopped by their house the first time I drove by and surprised them. This was the first time I'd ever been their without my mom with me...the first time I'd really been there as an adult. I was acutely aware of how much they had aged since I'd seen them last. I stopped by their house every 2-3 weeks for several weeks before NeeNaw took a turn for the worse. She ended up coming to AR and staying with my parents for a while so that she could go through some surgeries and have a caretaker for recovery. Unfortunately, she never got to go home. I was there for her the whole time...and there for my mom. It was hard. Being in the room with her while we took her off of her machines was by far the hardest thing I've ever done. It was so sad and I still start bawling every time I think about it.
I try to see PawPa at least monthly, although the past few months have been crazy. He sooo looks forward to me coming to see him, and I look forward to just being around him. He can't get around much, so I generally show up and clean for a few hours, then spend the next day or so just visiting with him. I've made a point to ask him to tell me stories..such as the birth of my mom (and her siblings)...how he met Grandma....where he use to work....anything I can think of. And he gets so excited to tell me! I feel like...for the first time...I have a sense of who one of my grandparents is...and he's awesome!
Every time I leave Pawpa, I cry. I think of the missed opportunities I had with my dad's parents....and with NeeNaw. I think about how sad Pawpa is that the love of his life is gone. I think about how it must feel to be elderly and alone. I wonder if...when I'm 80...will my grandkids want to know who I am or who I use to be? Will my stories bore them? Will I even remember any of the details that I am constantly obsessing over in my current life? It's sad to think about. But on the upside...Pawpa sure did enjoy my visit this weekend!
This first picture is a family picture of my PawPa and NeeNaw and their kids. My mom is on the far left. The second picture is my PawPa and NeeNaw in their 70s, and the last picture is of them in their 20s. How good lookin' were they? WOW!
Day 10, people! Day 10!
I'd say that the clomid did its job! Until this week, I'd been ovulating around day 30-40. Five days on clomid, and what would you know...DAY 10! I was so excited... and frankly I couldn't believe it! Let's just say it's a good thing that Chris came on this work trip with me. =) We, of course, won't know if we were able to get pregnant this round or not for a few weeks yet, but the fact that the clomid worked so well this first round makes me feel like we are getting much closer....
February 7, 2012
Let's see if this thing works....
Today is day 5 of taking Clomid- the last day. I'm sure many of you (especially you, TJ...and you, Brad) are curious about what clomid is (is it a shot? a pill? a kick in the ass?), so Dr. Hottinger is here to tell you everything I know so far.
My vast google research says that...pretty much...clomid is a pill that induces egg production. It comes in a small, white pill (see below) that you are suppose to take at the same time every day for 5 days. Most women start taking their dosage on day 3-5 of their menstrual cycle. If everything works like it is suppose to and you are someone close to the 'norm,' then you should ovulate about 2-7 days after finishing your 5th clomid pill. I have been very lucky so far in that I have not felt any of the side-effects that many of my friends warned me about- hot flashes...tenderness...pain during sex....severe cramps...etc. Lucky me.
So yes, let's see if this thing works!
On top of taking clomid now, I'm still taking my prenatals (I buy the gummy vitamins- love them) and my iron supplement as well. I've been on the prenatals/iron for about 14 months now and although I have been surrounded by sick people VERY often, I have been very lucky as far as my health goes. I blame it on the prenatals.
I'm leaving town today (in about an hour) and will get back on Sunday. More on that later...
My vast google research says that...pretty much...clomid is a pill that induces egg production. It comes in a small, white pill (see below) that you are suppose to take at the same time every day for 5 days. Most women start taking their dosage on day 3-5 of their menstrual cycle. If everything works like it is suppose to and you are someone close to the 'norm,' then you should ovulate about 2-7 days after finishing your 5th clomid pill. I have been very lucky so far in that I have not felt any of the side-effects that many of my friends warned me about- hot flashes...tenderness...pain during sex....severe cramps...etc. Lucky me.
So yes, let's see if this thing works!
On top of taking clomid now, I'm still taking my prenatals (I buy the gummy vitamins- love them) and my iron supplement as well. I've been on the prenatals/iron for about 14 months now and although I have been surrounded by sick people VERY often, I have been very lucky as far as my health goes. I blame it on the prenatals.
I'm leaving town today (in about an hour) and will get back on Sunday. More on that later...
February 2, 2012
My favorite picture from last weekend
Last weekend we went out to the Brooks family cabin to celebrate Ashley's 31st b-day. I met a lot of very nice folks and had a great time. Although a lot of great picture were taken that weekend, this is my absolute favorite (I could be biased).
I love my job
I am very lucky- I work for a smaller company out of Texas, running their number 1 and number 3 accounts here in Northwest Arkansas. I've been here for 3+ years and it continues to get better and better all the time! And I know when it's good, because in 6 years of vendor experience I have seen the bad and the ugly as well.
My first job was pretty much a financial analyst/marketing coordinator role with a very large company based out of San Francisco. This quickly developed into an analyst and then senior analyst role within a year or so. This company was fun to work for- we had no limit on our expenses...we went on amazing trips for sales meetings and market checks...we received great gifts once or twice a year...and the booze flowed like water. Being young and new to the vendor world (having just finished my masters and having worked on campus for 3 years at the U of A), I was elated! Plus, the money was a huge difference from campus paychecks...which was nice. I was at this job for like a year and half before I left. I would have stayed longer, but there was a lot of drama/craziness between my manager and director (long story short they were having an affair with each other for over a year and it ended and they both ended up getting fired) and I wanted in a better environment...so I started looking. Also, since I came in as a FA and not a senior sales analyst, I was underpaid for what I was doing . I got a raise to start the SSA role, but it was nowhere near what other companies were paying for the same role.
I started working for another large company out of the Denver, CO area in 2007. This company seemed like the perfect company for me! It was a small office...the company was very focused on sustainability and various environmental initiatives...the home office was in a place I would have loved to have moved to...my boss was a blunt, direct person who appreciated the same...it was a great fit. Sadly, this perfect fit began to unravel rather quickly. Within a few months, my boss (whom many hated, but I gelled well with) was promoted within and moved to CO. A month or two after that he asked me to come work for him there in CO, but I was not financially or emotionally in a place to go yet (we had just bought a new house at the top of the market and then the market tanked, so no getting out of that one so quickly....PLUS we were talking about starting a family and both sets of parents are local) so I turned that down. Immediately I regretted it, as I was stuck now in an office with a new boss that I wasn't fond of and a VP who seemed to all of a sudden have a bad taste in his mouth for me. This was a depressing time for me- I was sooooo excited about this company and what it stood for, yet I could feel it almost slipping away from me. Sadly, I only ended up staying here for a little over a year due to the VP over the office being a total douche-bag and making my life miserable.
People say that things happen for a reason, and in this instance I feel like that is what happened with my transition from my last company to my new one! I was brought on as a senior sales analyst, but within a few short months I was managing two of the company's top three accounts. Talk about a promotion- lol! At a large company you generally have to work YEARS to get to manage a top retailer...and here I just lucked into it. That's not totally true....I have worked my tail off over the past few years...but a lot of where I am now is due to timing and opportunity. Things were bumpy at first, with me reporting to 4 different bosses within 3 years and the company changing hands, but overall I am blessed. I have freedom. I have control over my business. I have reachable opportunities with each customer. I have a great boss (now). I get credit for my work. I get respect.
I love it!
My first job was pretty much a financial analyst/marketing coordinator role with a very large company based out of San Francisco. This quickly developed into an analyst and then senior analyst role within a year or so. This company was fun to work for- we had no limit on our expenses...we went on amazing trips for sales meetings and market checks...we received great gifts once or twice a year...and the booze flowed like water. Being young and new to the vendor world (having just finished my masters and having worked on campus for 3 years at the U of A), I was elated! Plus, the money was a huge difference from campus paychecks...which was nice. I was at this job for like a year and half before I left. I would have stayed longer, but there was a lot of drama/craziness between my manager and director (long story short they were having an affair with each other for over a year and it ended and they both ended up getting fired) and I wanted in a better environment...so I started looking. Also, since I came in as a FA and not a senior sales analyst, I was underpaid for what I was doing . I got a raise to start the SSA role, but it was nowhere near what other companies were paying for the same role.
I started working for another large company out of the Denver, CO area in 2007. This company seemed like the perfect company for me! It was a small office...the company was very focused on sustainability and various environmental initiatives...the home office was in a place I would have loved to have moved to...my boss was a blunt, direct person who appreciated the same...it was a great fit. Sadly, this perfect fit began to unravel rather quickly. Within a few months, my boss (whom many hated, but I gelled well with) was promoted within and moved to CO. A month or two after that he asked me to come work for him there in CO, but I was not financially or emotionally in a place to go yet (we had just bought a new house at the top of the market and then the market tanked, so no getting out of that one so quickly....PLUS we were talking about starting a family and both sets of parents are local) so I turned that down. Immediately I regretted it, as I was stuck now in an office with a new boss that I wasn't fond of and a VP who seemed to all of a sudden have a bad taste in his mouth for me. This was a depressing time for me- I was sooooo excited about this company and what it stood for, yet I could feel it almost slipping away from me. Sadly, I only ended up staying here for a little over a year due to the VP over the office being a total douche-bag and making my life miserable.
People say that things happen for a reason, and in this instance I feel like that is what happened with my transition from my last company to my new one! I was brought on as a senior sales analyst, but within a few short months I was managing two of the company's top three accounts. Talk about a promotion- lol! At a large company you generally have to work YEARS to get to manage a top retailer...and here I just lucked into it. That's not totally true....I have worked my tail off over the past few years...but a lot of where I am now is due to timing and opportunity. Things were bumpy at first, with me reporting to 4 different bosses within 3 years and the company changing hands, but overall I am blessed. I have freedom. I have control over my business. I have reachable opportunities with each customer. I have a great boss (now). I get credit for my work. I get respect.
I love it!
January 31, 2012
Clomid, Take 1
I had my doctor's appointment on Friday afternoon, and it went pretty much as expected. Before getting into the nitty gritty, can I please tell you how much I adore my OBGYN? I go to Dr. Pappas at Mercy. His name is why I chose him in the first place...if a man named Pappas wasn't made to do pap smears, I don't know who was! Ok, seriously...I'm kidding. I chose him because:
1. I know several ladies who have gone to him throughout their
pregnancy/labor/etc and they all speak very highly of him
2. I really like his demeanor, and the personality of his nurse
3. When I went to him to start the whole 'baby making process,' I told him that
I wanted to be aggressive in testing/treatment/etc, and he has been 100%
on board with everything I've wanted
4. He's known to be very good in difficult situations. I really hope that I do
not have to see this side of him, but if I do at least I know he can handle
it
So yeah, he's great. I went into my appointment on Friday hoping he would go ahead and start me on Clomid since I'm still not ovulating very often (note- STILL haven't this month either...now on day 37), and that's exactly what he did. I have concerns that the dosage might not be right/enough, as I've had several friends on this medication that ended up having it increased after 2-3 months (months of wasted time, in my eyes), so I asked Dr. Pappas if there was any way to know the accuracy of the dosage sooner than later. Ends up, there is a test you can do to check particular levels at certain times of the month. Score. My next steps are:
1. As soon as I test positive for ovulation, I'll schedule an appointment at
the lab for 10 days after the positive read- this is where they will test
my levels for a baseline (not on Clomid at this point) read
2. As soon as I start my period, I'll start taking the Clomid (Days 3-7)
3. #2 above should make me ovulate MUCH faster than what I have been. After I test positive for ovulation again, I'll go back to the lab on day 10 and have the same test done that I had done on #1 above. This should tell me if my Clomid dosage is enough to do what it's suppose to do
After this, I have a follow-up appointment with Dr. P the first week of March. Easy as pie, right? I'm actually excited to start Clomid...I've heard lots and lots of positive stories from people I know who got on this and got pregnant within 2-3 months...plus, logic alone tells me that ovulating EVERY MONTH will only give me that many more chances of getting one of my eggs fertilized at the right time.
I realize that this is probably TMI for some of you...sorry! I laughed for probably 2 full minutes the other day with my friend Brad texted me and was like "so...how's your ovulation going?" I don't want this blog to only be about babies and ovulation and tests and blah blah blah....but right now that's my life so that's what ya get! =) My next post will not deal with this, promise.
Hope everyone had a good weekend!
1. I know several ladies who have gone to him throughout their
pregnancy/labor/etc and they all speak very highly of him
2. I really like his demeanor, and the personality of his nurse
3. When I went to him to start the whole 'baby making process,' I told him that
I wanted to be aggressive in testing/treatment/etc, and he has been 100%
on board with everything I've wanted
4. He's known to be very good in difficult situations. I really hope that I do
not have to see this side of him, but if I do at least I know he can handle
it
So yeah, he's great. I went into my appointment on Friday hoping he would go ahead and start me on Clomid since I'm still not ovulating very often (note- STILL haven't this month either...now on day 37), and that's exactly what he did. I have concerns that the dosage might not be right/enough, as I've had several friends on this medication that ended up having it increased after 2-3 months (months of wasted time, in my eyes), so I asked Dr. Pappas if there was any way to know the accuracy of the dosage sooner than later. Ends up, there is a test you can do to check particular levels at certain times of the month. Score. My next steps are:
1. As soon as I test positive for ovulation, I'll schedule an appointment at
the lab for 10 days after the positive read- this is where they will test
my levels for a baseline (not on Clomid at this point) read
2. As soon as I start my period, I'll start taking the Clomid (Days 3-7)
3. #2 above should make me ovulate MUCH faster than what I have been. After I test positive for ovulation again, I'll go back to the lab on day 10 and have the same test done that I had done on #1 above. This should tell me if my Clomid dosage is enough to do what it's suppose to do
After this, I have a follow-up appointment with Dr. P the first week of March. Easy as pie, right? I'm actually excited to start Clomid...I've heard lots and lots of positive stories from people I know who got on this and got pregnant within 2-3 months...plus, logic alone tells me that ovulating EVERY MONTH will only give me that many more chances of getting one of my eggs fertilized at the right time.
I realize that this is probably TMI for some of you...sorry! I laughed for probably 2 full minutes the other day with my friend Brad texted me and was like "so...how's your ovulation going?" I don't want this blog to only be about babies and ovulation and tests and blah blah blah....but right now that's my life so that's what ya get! =) My next post will not deal with this, promise.
Hope everyone had a good weekend!
January 26, 2012
O is for Ovulation
WARNING- if the words ovulation, menstruation, intercourse, birth control, period or baby make you uncomfortable, go ahead and skip this post and look up some YouTube videos or something. Especially if they make you uncomfortable in relation to me in particular, because we are about to get into it.
Last chance...
Ok, I warned you. Chris and I had a plan- I'd get off of the pill...use protection for a few months while my body figured things out...and then in the spring we'd stop using condoms and BAM! Baby time! I wanted an August baby. Obviously, planning is not an option with some people when it comes to babies! And I realize that now.
I got ON the pill when I was 16 because I had very irregular periods (that's the truth, it wasn't just a ploy to avoid getting knocked up) and I heard that the pill helped to regulate you. When I say I was irregular, I mean I would go 2 months without a cycle, but then I'd have a period for like 10 days. Then, the next month it'd be normal. Then I'd skip a month or two..it was all over the place. When I started the pill, I knew immediately that I LOVED IT. On the pill, my complexion was clear...I didn't get any sort of cramps...I knew exactly what day my period would start and when it would end/etc. It was easy. I did change pills a couple of times, but several years ago I landed on YAZ and that was the perfect one for me.
I stopped taking the pill in November 2010 (we continued to use condoms for a few months) so that my body could figure out how to regulate itself without my feeding it hormones everyday. It immediately got pissed off. I didn't have a period for like three months...then I'd 'spot' for a day or two...then I think my first real period was in like February. I was actually excited about it (weird, I know). After that, it was just like I was 16 years old again...I was all over the place and remain that way to this date. It's very frustrating. Most women would probably be excited about not having a period every month, but when you are trying to make a baby and that's all you want, the fact that you don't have a period every month (and thus don't ovulate every month) is very hard to deal with.
You see...if you don't know when you are going to have a period, you can't predict when you are going to ovulate. And unless you happen to have sex within that very small ovulation window (and it 'takes'), you can't get pregnant. That window is anywhere from 1.5-3 days for most women. And for most women, that's a window that happens every month. For me, I have 1.5-2 days on an average of every 45-50 days. And I pretty much have no way of knowing when that will be, except I get some help from two of my favorite tools- the ovulation predictor test and the 'my cycles' tracker ipad/iphone app.
This is the ovulation tester kit that I buy every 30-40 days. I pretty much pee on a stick every single day (except the seldom days I have where I am actually menstruating), and I see a blank circle staring back at me. On the rare occasion that it actually smiles at me, that means that I'm actually going to ovulate within the next 1-2 days, and trust me it's GO TIME.
And this is the 'my cycles' app that I have on my iPad and iPhone. I use it to track my periods (shows a red line at the top of the day), the days we have sex (shows a heart) and when I test positive for ovulation (shows a piece of paper). It also show a green line on the top of the days that it thinks you could be fertile (although this isn't accurate for me). It uses your past months to predict your next few months for you, based on an average. It's not right and I don't count on it, but it IS helpful to know when things have happened and to have my 'records' with me when I see the doctor. You can track LOTS of things on it (such as cramps/tenderness/etc), but I just use it for menstruation/ovulation/intercourse.
So 'most' women ovulate around day 12-14 after the first day of their period. This is when they are most fertile. I've been tracking around day 25-45 (greatly varies, I know). As of today, I am on day 33 and have still not tested positive on my ovulation test. It's frustrating.
I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow afternoon (dealing with this stuff) and expect to be put on clomid, but we'll see. I'm going straight out of town after the appt, so you fearless readers will have to wait to hear what happens on Sunday or Monday. =)
Thanks for reading! Hopefully we'll hear good news tomorrow...
Have a great weekend!
Last chance...
Ok, I warned you. Chris and I had a plan- I'd get off of the pill...use protection for a few months while my body figured things out...and then in the spring we'd stop using condoms and BAM! Baby time! I wanted an August baby. Obviously, planning is not an option with some people when it comes to babies! And I realize that now.
I got ON the pill when I was 16 because I had very irregular periods (that's the truth, it wasn't just a ploy to avoid getting knocked up) and I heard that the pill helped to regulate you. When I say I was irregular, I mean I would go 2 months without a cycle, but then I'd have a period for like 10 days. Then, the next month it'd be normal. Then I'd skip a month or two..it was all over the place. When I started the pill, I knew immediately that I LOVED IT. On the pill, my complexion was clear...I didn't get any sort of cramps...I knew exactly what day my period would start and when it would end/etc. It was easy. I did change pills a couple of times, but several years ago I landed on YAZ and that was the perfect one for me.
I stopped taking the pill in November 2010 (we continued to use condoms for a few months) so that my body could figure out how to regulate itself without my feeding it hormones everyday. It immediately got pissed off. I didn't have a period for like three months...then I'd 'spot' for a day or two...then I think my first real period was in like February. I was actually excited about it (weird, I know). After that, it was just like I was 16 years old again...I was all over the place and remain that way to this date. It's very frustrating. Most women would probably be excited about not having a period every month, but when you are trying to make a baby and that's all you want, the fact that you don't have a period every month (and thus don't ovulate every month) is very hard to deal with.
You see...if you don't know when you are going to have a period, you can't predict when you are going to ovulate. And unless you happen to have sex within that very small ovulation window (and it 'takes'), you can't get pregnant. That window is anywhere from 1.5-3 days for most women. And for most women, that's a window that happens every month. For me, I have 1.5-2 days on an average of every 45-50 days. And I pretty much have no way of knowing when that will be, except I get some help from two of my favorite tools- the ovulation predictor test and the 'my cycles' tracker ipad/iphone app.
This is the ovulation tester kit that I buy every 30-40 days. I pretty much pee on a stick every single day (except the seldom days I have where I am actually menstruating), and I see a blank circle staring back at me. On the rare occasion that it actually smiles at me, that means that I'm actually going to ovulate within the next 1-2 days, and trust me it's GO TIME.
And this is the 'my cycles' app that I have on my iPad and iPhone. I use it to track my periods (shows a red line at the top of the day), the days we have sex (shows a heart) and when I test positive for ovulation (shows a piece of paper). It also show a green line on the top of the days that it thinks you could be fertile (although this isn't accurate for me). It uses your past months to predict your next few months for you, based on an average. It's not right and I don't count on it, but it IS helpful to know when things have happened and to have my 'records' with me when I see the doctor. You can track LOTS of things on it (such as cramps/tenderness/etc), but I just use it for menstruation/ovulation/intercourse.
So 'most' women ovulate around day 12-14 after the first day of their period. This is when they are most fertile. I've been tracking around day 25-45 (greatly varies, I know). As of today, I am on day 33 and have still not tested positive on my ovulation test. It's frustrating.
I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow afternoon (dealing with this stuff) and expect to be put on clomid, but we'll see. I'm going straight out of town after the appt, so you fearless readers will have to wait to hear what happens on Sunday or Monday. =)
Thanks for reading! Hopefully we'll hear good news tomorrow...
Have a great weekend!
January 24, 2012
Weekend Review
I'll start with Thursday, because that's when I went with my friend Mel and saw The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. Have any of you out there read these books/seen the Swedish versions of these movies? OMG- so good! I'm an avid reader- generally about a book a week (although since I got an iPad several months ago I find myself playing games and searching the internet instead...I need to get better). I'll admit, though, that I had a hard time getting into the first book. There is a LOT of detailed background in the first few chapters, but if you can push through those it is totally worth it. And then you can't stop until you finish the series...or at least I couldn't. The Swedish films were outstanding and very true to the book. I didn't know if I'd like the American version (mainly because the book is harsh in certain areas and needs a movie to do it justice in that respect for the storyline/character development in my mind), but I was impressed. Good flick.
I have no idea what I did on Friday night...how awful is that? Saturday was eventful, though. I cleaned the house, and around 4:30pm the Maloneys came over to drop off my two favorite girls in the world. I offered to keep the girls overnight so that Hay (BFF) and her hubby could have a date night and relax on Sunday. I also did it because I have so much fun with these girls that I would rather have them with me than not! They are funny...smart...loving...and EASY. Seriously, they are a 'routine' family and it totally works for these kiddos. The youngest, Millie, has an amazing nap/nightime routine that makes putting her to bed so easy. After dinner, Millie gets a bath and gets to play a while. Then...between like 8:30-9:00 (normally) she gets a lovie (tiny, cute blankets with ribbon that Hayley makes) and her paci and you read a book....and then you tell her it's night night time. You then go lay her down and she totally puts herself to sleep! No joke. She doesn't even want read to or anything anymore...she just knows it's time to sleep. It's amazing...and she does the same thing at nap time. It's crazy! And both Millie and Saylor (aren't those great names?) wake up happy and loving and sweet....love these girls so much.
So after an eventful Saturday night of playing with some friends and dancing on the Kinect and what-not, we all crashed out. I woke up at 7:30 expecting the girls to get me up any minute, but they slept in til 9:30am! Another reason I love them! LOL. We made cupcakes (Saylor got a cake-maker for x-mas, equipped with all kinds of icing tools and everything)....we played hide and seek for at least an hour...we took Barley and Suka to the dog park....we played a lot...it was lots of fun. And Uncle Chris was a big help all day as well, letting the girls climb all over him and helping them with games/etc. We finished up the evening with our weekly Sunday dinner at the Maloney's house. Good times.
This week has been crazy so far, as I had a HUGE meeting with my #1 customer today and spent all day yesterday/today finalizing some pricing/presentations/etc. I'll post some details about all that later....
Until next time, enjoy some photos of who I talked about today. At the top are my doggies, Suka and Barley. Suka is the black/white female on the left, and Barley is the red/white male on the right. Suka is 5 and Barley is 4...and they are my babies. Millie is the grinning toddler, and Saylor is the one on skates.
I have no idea what I did on Friday night...how awful is that? Saturday was eventful, though. I cleaned the house, and around 4:30pm the Maloneys came over to drop off my two favorite girls in the world. I offered to keep the girls overnight so that Hay (BFF) and her hubby could have a date night and relax on Sunday. I also did it because I have so much fun with these girls that I would rather have them with me than not! They are funny...smart...loving...and EASY. Seriously, they are a 'routine' family and it totally works for these kiddos. The youngest, Millie, has an amazing nap/nightime routine that makes putting her to bed so easy. After dinner, Millie gets a bath and gets to play a while. Then...between like 8:30-9:00 (normally) she gets a lovie (tiny, cute blankets with ribbon that Hayley makes) and her paci and you read a book....and then you tell her it's night night time. You then go lay her down and she totally puts herself to sleep! No joke. She doesn't even want read to or anything anymore...she just knows it's time to sleep. It's amazing...and she does the same thing at nap time. It's crazy! And both Millie and Saylor (aren't those great names?) wake up happy and loving and sweet....love these girls so much.
So after an eventful Saturday night of playing with some friends and dancing on the Kinect and what-not, we all crashed out. I woke up at 7:30 expecting the girls to get me up any minute, but they slept in til 9:30am! Another reason I love them! LOL. We made cupcakes (Saylor got a cake-maker for x-mas, equipped with all kinds of icing tools and everything)....we played hide and seek for at least an hour...we took Barley and Suka to the dog park....we played a lot...it was lots of fun. And Uncle Chris was a big help all day as well, letting the girls climb all over him and helping them with games/etc. We finished up the evening with our weekly Sunday dinner at the Maloney's house. Good times.
This week has been crazy so far, as I had a HUGE meeting with my #1 customer today and spent all day yesterday/today finalizing some pricing/presentations/etc. I'll post some details about all that later....
Until next time, enjoy some photos of who I talked about today. At the top are my doggies, Suka and Barley. Suka is the black/white female on the left, and Barley is the red/white male on the right. Suka is 5 and Barley is 4...and they are my babies. Millie is the grinning toddler, and Saylor is the one on skates.
January 20, 2012
Blog-Lift & 2012 Thoughts
I admit, I didn't want to post again until I had some time to actually get my blog looking more presentable and less like the writing on a cement wall in a prison cell. So, BAM - here it is in all of its yellow glory. Who knew that I liked yellow? I didn't know...until I started looking at templates and this one seemed to be the perfect match of cute and clean to me. I hope you enjoy it. =)
Since it is January, I think I will start off with a list of things that I am looking forward to/hoping for/dreaming of for 2012:
1. I am hoping to continue to be a better friend. It has taken me a long time
(30 yrs, really) to not only realize what I did badly in friendships,but also
to know what I expect out of them. I no longer dedicate time and effort to
people who don't deserve it. I no longer hold on to past friendships in
hopes that they will be what they once were and instead just accept what
they have become. I no longer try to get points across in a very passive-
aggressive way...I am direct. I cherish the friends who are there for me
and who allow me to be there for them. I've learned a lot, and I'm still
learning
2. I am looking forward to Chris getting Lasik eye surgery (my b-day present to him). He has been dependent on glasses/contacts to do ANYTHING for most of his life, so I know this is going to be very exciting for him. Those of you who know Chris know he doesn't get really excited about much besides the Razorbacks, so I can't wait to see his smile when he wakes up in the morning and rolls over and can actually SEE my face. Oh...wait...maybe the fact that he can't currently is why our marriage is so good? Blerg....
3. I am looking forward to our beach house! A group of about 8 of us have a beach trip planned for late April, and I am already counting down the days! I'm going with my favorite people in the world, so I couldn't be happier. Should be a very relaxing and fun trip
4. I know you are going to laugh, but I'm super excited about a few TV shows that are coming back soon, and some movies that I expect to see this year. For example, I haven't seen the last season of either Weeds or Dexter, but they will come out on DVD this year and I will get to catch-up. I also plan on catching up on True Blood (Season 3 forward) and I REALLY want to start watching Shameless. This week, my favorite reality show ever....The Real World/Road Rules challenge...starts. I've never missed an episode. And Big Brother will be back this Summer. Sa-weet!
5. My biggest dream for 2012, of course, is to have a lil Hottinger. I have always wanted kids (several, much to my husband's chagrin) and have waited a really long time to start trying. Chris and I wanted to enjoy each other and have some time to ourselves before bringing a child into the mix (we've had 9 years now). We also wanted to be able to afford for one of us to stay home with the babies, which has only been a reality for the past year and a half or so. Everyone says that you are never ready....but we are. We have been. And frankly I'm getting impatient. 2012 seems like the perfect year to have a baby to me!
So yeah, 2012 could be a great year! Here's to relationships, vacations, hobbies and baby-making!!
Cheers...
Since it is January, I think I will start off with a list of things that I am looking forward to/hoping for/dreaming of for 2012:
1. I am hoping to continue to be a better friend. It has taken me a long time
(30 yrs, really) to not only realize what I did badly in friendships,but also
to know what I expect out of them. I no longer dedicate time and effort to
people who don't deserve it. I no longer hold on to past friendships in
hopes that they will be what they once were and instead just accept what
they have become. I no longer try to get points across in a very passive-
aggressive way...I am direct. I cherish the friends who are there for me
and who allow me to be there for them. I've learned a lot, and I'm still
learning
2. I am looking forward to Chris getting Lasik eye surgery (my b-day present to him). He has been dependent on glasses/contacts to do ANYTHING for most of his life, so I know this is going to be very exciting for him. Those of you who know Chris know he doesn't get really excited about much besides the Razorbacks, so I can't wait to see his smile when he wakes up in the morning and rolls over and can actually SEE my face. Oh...wait...maybe the fact that he can't currently is why our marriage is so good? Blerg....
3. I am looking forward to our beach house! A group of about 8 of us have a beach trip planned for late April, and I am already counting down the days! I'm going with my favorite people in the world, so I couldn't be happier. Should be a very relaxing and fun trip
4. I know you are going to laugh, but I'm super excited about a few TV shows that are coming back soon, and some movies that I expect to see this year. For example, I haven't seen the last season of either Weeds or Dexter, but they will come out on DVD this year and I will get to catch-up. I also plan on catching up on True Blood (Season 3 forward) and I REALLY want to start watching Shameless. This week, my favorite reality show ever....The Real World/Road Rules challenge...starts. I've never missed an episode. And Big Brother will be back this Summer. Sa-weet!
5. My biggest dream for 2012, of course, is to have a lil Hottinger. I have always wanted kids (several, much to my husband's chagrin) and have waited a really long time to start trying. Chris and I wanted to enjoy each other and have some time to ourselves before bringing a child into the mix (we've had 9 years now). We also wanted to be able to afford for one of us to stay home with the babies, which has only been a reality for the past year and a half or so. Everyone says that you are never ready....but we are. We have been. And frankly I'm getting impatient. 2012 seems like the perfect year to have a baby to me!
So yeah, 2012 could be a great year! Here's to relationships, vacations, hobbies and baby-making!!
Cheers...
December 26, 2011
And so it begins....
I like to view myself as a creative individual, but as I started to put this page together I realized that I will forego creativity in about thirty seconds if it's not easy. And for someone who is definitely smarter than a 5th grader, technology does not come easy to me. It requires effort...and time...and patience...and glasses. Needless to say, until one of my tech-savy friends decides to do a makeover on this blog, the black background and plain font will just have to do.
I have blogged before...I did it for a few months when I had my jaw surgery, mainly because when I was researching the surgery I couldn't find any good details/information/support groups to give me a feel of what I'd be going through, and I wanted to provide some light on the subject for people who may need it down the road. It was theraputic for me, and hopefully helpful to someone out there googling "break my jaw" or "eating through a tube" or such.
So what brings me back to the blogging world? Several things, actually. First of all, if I don't have something to do at night I will waste my time on terrible, terrible television shows. Don't get me wrong....I am a proud tv addict and love watching a number of shows; however, often I feel like my lack of productivity is dragging me down. You know, like you are wasting time when you should be doing something, yet you are too tired to really do the things you think you need to do....so you don't do anything? Or maybe that's just me. Anyway, this gives me something to do.
Secondly, I miss writing! Those of you who know me know I was an English Lit major...but what you may not know is that I did a lot of writing for pleasure. It's almost like a therapy of sorts for me. Here is a real life example that you may find weird... To this day, anytime my husband and I have a major disagreement (which nowadays tends to only be like 2-3 times a year), instead of yelling at him and trying to convince him that I am right about something, I will listen to what he has to say, and then....in a day or two...I will email him how I feel about it. For me, it's better to sit down and think through what I really want to say vs what I want to say 'in the heat of things.' It takes the emotion out of it and makes me think rationally. It works for us.
And my final reason for starting back deals with the ups and downs of trying to start a family. Yes, Chris and I are 'working on' making a baby! Truth is, it's harder for us than I thought it would be. More on that later...
Until 2012....
Secondly, I miss writing! Those of you who know me know I was an English Lit major...but what you may not know is that I did a lot of writing for pleasure. It's almost like a therapy of sorts for me. Here is a real life example that you may find weird... To this day, anytime my husband and I have a major disagreement (which nowadays tends to only be like 2-3 times a year), instead of yelling at him and trying to convince him that I am right about something, I will listen to what he has to say, and then....in a day or two...I will email him how I feel about it. For me, it's better to sit down and think through what I really want to say vs what I want to say 'in the heat of things.' It takes the emotion out of it and makes me think rationally. It works for us.
And my final reason for starting back deals with the ups and downs of trying to start a family. Yes, Chris and I are 'working on' making a baby! Truth is, it's harder for us than I thought it would be. More on that later...
Until 2012....
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